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Hands In the Air If You’ve Ever Stayed in an All Girl’s Hostel!

How many of these traits do you recognise?

If you can quote Dirty Dancing verbatim, and crave for Maggi at the oddest hours of the day, chances are you’ve been in an All Girls Residence Hall!

Girls Hostel
Talish Ray may be a hot-shot lawyer today, but not too long ago, she was the denizen of a schizophrenic all-girls Residence Hall,  with her acerbic wit and leopard printed shorts! In this column- hastily penned over a flight-  she tells you about the everlasting impression that such an experience leaves behind.

They are rare you know- the All-Girls Grad Schools. Some would even say they are a dying breed. And from there to the All Girls’ Residence Halls, the air gets even more rarified. Its not a school hostel yet not quite a chummery.  And when you’re not despairing over the three fruitful years of your life lost in boy-less purgatory, you are celebrating friendships and forming bonds that last a lifetime!
To those of us who have been there,  we know we are branded. Hand on your heart these are the 25 traits you will remember should you have spent time in one.

  1. You don’t identify with the college but you swear by your dormitory or ‘block’ and talk of it in an alien language.
  2. The architects to the hostel structure had studied Fort Knox as a model and improved upon it. (Or more likely, the poor schmuck you were dating at that time, was petrified by the sight of your aging Watchman!)
  3. The hostel night passes (a tiny slip of paper that lets you stay out till the moon rises) are more precious than cold fusion formulas. As they rightly should be.
  4. You consider it your right to stare down any guy in your campus. (Hey this is a public so I’m being discreet)Staring at Boys
  5. You queue for everything – to receive telephone calls, to bathe, to brush, to go out, to get gloop portioned out on your plate for dinner. Why you didn’t break rules you can’t fathom till today.
  6. You have no qualms lending clothes/makeup/ shoes.  Of course, you don’t expect to return what you borrow from your ‘roomie’
  7. When you have a visitor, every single resident gets excited! Doubly so if the visitor is a twice-removed passably handsome cousin.
  8. Wearing shorts and bandi to class is not just a fashion statement. Who is  going to wash those jeans? Your ‘imaginary’ boyfriend?
  9. There is this one guy who is crazy enough to fetch pizzas in the middle of the night or to send a limo to get you dropped to the railway station. And you will break his heart by calling him your best buddy once you’ve graduated.
  10.  If you go on a date it is  your moral duty to give every detail to your friends who cheerfully provided helpful reference material. Like “my aunt is a doctor and she knows his family has a history of diabetes so just make sure he has no performance issues darling”.Tell Me More
  11. You have  raucous dance parties where women dress  for women and no, it isn’t strange that women hoot at women.
  12. You always greet your ‘besties’ with a hug. Even if you’ve been separated for just 15 minutes!Hugs All Around
  13. Dressing up for men is infra dig and so not-feminist, so you work hard on a carelessly casual look. Think Kate Winslet escaping the Titanic.
  14. You’ve been to at least one fancy dining establishment as a chaperone for a friend ‘trying out’ a new boyfriend.
  15. You remain a walking information guide on every kind of diet.Should I Eat This?
  16. You recognise every preen in most women but you are frankly clueless where men’s egos are concerned
  17. Your one local aunty is your life line and you have no qualms taking her or her washing machines for a ride. Sneakers don’t have a wash cycle?
  18. The art of manicure, sari wearing and hair braiding are tradable commodities but chocolate must always be shared
  19. You have been told ” What, he doesn’t like you, you are clearly too good for him ” and  loved your friends for it
  20. You have had that one profound life changing conversation in the bathroom stall- or in the queue to one(See also 5.).  Mine started with”  Wow all your stuff smells like green apples and green apples are such a Freudian symbol for how men view their careers”.
  21. “I bought this from ____ market in 50 bucks” is a bigger fashion statement than a Dior lipstick.Sisterhood of Traveling Pants
  22. Wai wai must only be eaten raw and you can make 5 different kinds of cuisines with just Maggi!
  23. Watching “Dirty Dancing” is a communal experience that must only be conducted in pajamas and shorts.
  24. You can communicate in loud shrilly shrieks of OMG and it will communicate anything from joy to despair.
  25.  You will still take the company of women over George Clooney, but who can blame you for that?
My Big Red Bag brings original content inspired by life’s joys and passions. Check out other articles in Humour, and stay tuned to our latest content by following us on Twitter and FB. See you on the other side!

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