It’s the Akshay Kumar special in June, and we bring you the low down on both his releases
It’s Akshay Kumar week at Trailer Talk. The MBRB girls have an inexplicable fondness for the original Khiladi. But we are not sure if its terrible taste or terrible judgment that makes him pick one terrible movie after another. There’s a part of us that blames Priyadarshan for convincing Akshay Kumar that he’s a comic actor. There’s another part which blames Anees Bazmee and Singh is Kinng (bad spelling and all!). But whatever the reason, these days it looks like Akshay Kumar has checked out of the room to count the moolah, while his facsimile acts in one unwatchable film and then another with little effort.
Director A.R. Murugadoss (ARM) – the one who gave us Ghajini - returns to Bollywood with Holiday, a remake of his 2012 Tamil hit Thuppakki. We take a look at the trailer to help you decide whether it’s worth making the trip to the movie hall.
Akki : Sometimes we feel that the biggest problem with Akshay Kumar is that he can do several things effortlessly, so giving an easy way out to lazy directors – why write a good story when you can get him to do all the heropanti (sorry, Tiger Shroff)? After all, how many superstars can dance like a gymnast, perform crazy acrobatic stunts and look good in red hot pants? Yes he may not have the range of an AK or Irrfan, but err, when was that a big deal in Bollywood?
Holiday has Akki doing all the things that one has seen him do over and over again for decades – he’s a sombre gun wielding soldier one minute, and a girl chasing, dancing around tree Romeo the next. The wait to see Akki in a different avatar continues – is Bollywood’s new breed of directors listening?
Sonakshi Sinha: Apparently, Sonakshi Sinha plays a boxer in the movie, and we have to applaud ARM for the unusual characterization and the actress for training under champion Vijender Singh for the role. But you wouldn’t guess her character from the trailer. There is a single shot of her in the boxing ring, and several others of her playing tennis, volleyball, foosball (ok we made that up) – all without a drop of perspiration on her brow, not even when her upright hero is chasing her all over the stadium. But don’t hold it against her people – she does mop off invisible sweat from her freshly made up face in a way that would make Roger Federer shiver.
And in case you thought that the svelte girl dressed in shorts and jumpers was her twin sister, Sonakshi sets the record straight by also appearing in costumes that have positively been teleported from the by-lanes of 1980s Ludhiana. Please get a new stylist Sona!
Story & Dialogues: The story appears to be a lazy hash of Kahani, Mission Impossible and its ilk. It seems ARM decided to show off his modernity by selecting something called the Sleeper Cells as the villain’s chosen weapon of mass destruction – they are the biggest threat to mankind and capable of being deployed by a simple sms (Be scared, be very scared).
The dialogues are equally jaded – sample this one that signs off the trailer:
Villian: I’m coming to you…wherever you are….I’ll kill you
Akki : I’m waiting (delivered in Arnie/ Sly tones)
Giggle and Yawn.
The Villian : We haven’t seen Thuppakki, but it’s on our bucket list for one and only one reason – Vidyut Jamwal, who plays the terrorist leader. For some strange reason, ARM decided to choose the anti thesis of Jamwal for Holiday – débutante Freddy Daruwala looks like a computer hacker whose acting prowess makes Akki appear like a veritable Meryl Streep.
Music : Rehashing borrowed tunes can be exhausting – going by the music of Holiday, Pritam needs some fresh “inspiration”.
Gossip : Pooja Bhatt released a film titled Holiday in 2006 (with Dino Morea and Kashmira Shah – we don’t blame you for not recalling the movie, we also had to resort to IMDB), so as per rules, producer Vipul Shah should not have been allowed to reuse the title so soon. But Bollywood – like the rest of India – has a parallel association which happily awarded the title to Shah, on condition that he adds a tagline (“A Soldier Is Never Off Duty”).
And oh, Govinda makes a special appearance in the movie. Excited?
Overall, Holiday appears to be what Bollywood euphemistically calls a family entertainer – an average story, a bit of skirt chasing + action + drama + dance + dramatic background score (sounds like an average Indian male’s fantasy, doesn’t it?). Akki notwithstanding, we think we’ll give the sleeper cells a miss and await the TV release – but don’t be surprised if the movie ends up being a 100 crore hit!
Holiday releases on 6 June all over India.
It’s Entertainment!!!! ???????????
Aah Akshay Kumar! The man who could theoretically do anything at one time, and is now subjecting us to the trifecta of Holiday, It’s Entertainment and Singh Is Bling over the next 12 months. (the last one we want to watch for some reason!)
If you like good cinema then chances are that no words in the world scare you more than “Tips Industries Presents” (unless of course they are accompanied by the infamous Pen India name) . And the trailer shows Akshay Kumar with his “Priyadarshan comedy repertoire player” dialled up to 11, screaming every line in the hope that volume will make up for the lack of laughs, contorting his beautiful Punjabi face in a million ways, and firmly affirming that no dialogue or concept is lowbrow enough for him.
But it’s easy to laugh at an trailer like It’s Entertainment. Instead of telling you why we think its the end of cinema as we know it, why don’t we tell you 10 reasons we are cautiously optimistic about the movie?
1. It’s funnier than the trailer of Humshakals.
2. We are looking forward to the a square off between our two favourite hams, as they circle each other in bug eyed intensity, Mr. Johnny Lever and Mr. Prakash Raj
3. Of all our 40+ heroes, Akshay Kumar is the only one who doesn’t look super skeevy when acting against 20 something pretty girls. And from what we’ve seen of her in Telugu movies, Tamannah is capable of a lot of spunk!
4. We adore this Hawaiian purple on the original Disco Dancer Mithun Chakraborty
5. Haha! Haha! Ab yeh Slum Dog Millionaire Banega! Any joke about that overrated film is alright by us!
6. The dog’s adorable!!!
7. Apparently MBRB’s imaginary boyfriend Atif Aslam has sung for the movie (something that’s better than the song in the background of the trailer hopefully!)
8. Listen us out on this one. It was late in the evening and we were a few wines down when we sat and did not NOT ENJOY Bol Bachchan? And a huge reason for that were the superb comic timings of Krishna Abhishek. What can we say, we find his live wire energy and ability to speak the most inane dialogues with a sort of idiot savant innocence funny. And maybe, just maybe, he will save this movie too ?
9. Kutte Main Tera Khoon Pee Jaaoonga! (what, that’s funny!)
10. Look we were stretching all along. Ten was always going to be difficult. About the best we can say about the trailer is that it’s not as terrible as the premise suggests, and again (it bears repeating!), better than Sajid Khan’s Humshakals. There isn’t a chance in hell we will watch this in the theatre come 8th August, but all bets are off if its on Television one night. And that sound you hear from outside the door? That’s not us laughing at the jokes we swear! It’s just the wine.
My Big Red Bag brings original content inspired by life’s joys and passions. Check out other articles from our Colors Issue, and stay tuned to our latest content by following us on Twitter and FB. See you on the other side!